Involuntary Contradiction
by Anastaise
Summary: Almost everyone has a spiritual guide who is always at their side. Hiei is apart of the small percentage who do not. After he angers Koenma Hiei is forced to have Botan act as his spiritual guide for exactly one week. Can the both of them survive?
1. Day 0: Koenma's Wrath

**Author's Note: **_This story concept has been on my mind for the past few years. I actually started it back in 2007 but I wasn't very happy with the result so I decided to redo it completely! In my YYH stories I usually don't put in random Japanese terms, suffixes, etc. because I've been watching the English dub and as you know they don't do that! It just comes off as awkward to me if I try to do otherwise. I'm looking to improve as a writer so any feedback on grammar, characters, and anything else is very much appreciated! I plan for this story to be exactly eight chapters so I hope you all will enjoy this ride with me!_

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**Involuntary Contradiction  
**

**Day 0:  
**

**"Koenma's Wrath"**

* * *

_Stupid homework. Stupid teachers. Stupid school. _Yusuke Urameshi thought angrily as he trekked down the street toward his apartment. It was safe to say that it'd been another long day at the one place Yusuke dreaded most: Sariyashiki Jr. High. _I should've just skipped but no… Keiko had to nag me to death! "Your mom worked really hard so you wouldn't fail! You've already missed enough days, Yusuke!" Well yeah, Keiko, that's because I was off saving the friggen' world! You were there, damnit! _Yusuke swung his fist but it collided with nothing. _I win the Dark Tournament and this is the thanks I get? Shit, aren't I lucky? _As a reflex, he cracked his knuckles and tossed a glare at the closest human being who, unfortunately, happened to be some random girl. She immediately caught his stare, squeaked, and sped off in the other direction.

Yusuke sighed. Usually it was Kuwabara who scared innocent bystanders with that rough mug of his. Oh well, he was in a bad mood to begin with and Yusuke believed he had every right to be angry. Not even a week had passed since his victory over the rigorous Dark Tournament and he was already having the normality of school shoved down his throat.

_I think I'm going to be sick tomorrow. _A smirk appeared on his lips as Yusuke stretched out his arms. _Me and the arcade have to become reacquainted… _His smirk shifted to a grin as he walked up the stairs to the apartment that he shared with his mother. Yusuke opened the door and tossed his bag aside as if it carried the plague. He lifted his eyes to what was in front of him (expecting to see nothing but his lush mom lazing around) and nearly jumped out of his own skin.

"The hell is this?" Yusuke cried out when he saw Kuwabara, Kurama, and even Koenma hanging out at the dining room table.

"Hello Yusuke," Kurama said pleasantly as if this situation was the epitome of normality. Which for the record… it wasn't.

Then it was Kuwabara who spoke up next. "Geez, Urameshi, you're slow. We got out of school at the same time and I still made it here faster than you!"

Yusuke's black brow rose and twitched. "Mind telling me how you got into my house?" For the time being he thought it best to ignore Kuwabara's weak jab. Later he'd just reply by punching him in the face like usual, anyway.

"Your, er, kind mother let us in." Koenma, who appeared to everyone in his teenage form, indicated to Atsuko. She was sprawled out on the couch waving around a half empty bottle of liquor with flushed cheeks and was giggling at random intervals.

"Mom! You just let strangers in?" The Spirit Detective snapped his attention towards his drunken wreck of a parent. Sure, they weren't unknown to him but he was somewhat sure his mother hadn't laid her eyes on Kurama and definitely not on Koenma.

"They were cute!" Atsuko shouted, suddenly sitting up and resting her free hand over her chest. "Who am I to deny cute men? Lemme write down my–" she paused to take in a drawn out swig of alcohol before falling backwards. "Number... mmm." She snuggled into the couch with eyes closed, a bit of drool congregated at the corner of her mouth before beginning to run down her chin.

Yusuke rolled his eyes. _Of course. _"And the Mother of the Year Award goes to– anyway, why is Binky Breath here?" Then it hit him. "I know that I'm supposed to play the part of your Spirit Bitch and all but for fuck's sake give me longer than a week to–"

"Yusuke," Koenma began levelly.

However the fourteen year old didn't bother to listen. "Don't get me wrong, I like kicking ass but–"

"Yusuke." The Spirit World Prince said again while Kurama looked partially amused. Kuwabara tried to appear as ticked off as possible to show his teammate how immature he was being compared to his honorable self.

"I just got done kicking a _whole _bunch of ass and I'd like, y'know, five minutes to not do your friggen' dirty work!" Yusuke continued.

"YUSUKE!" This time Koenma shouted. "Shut up. Please." His semi-pleading seemed to work because Yusuke fell silent, no longer did he deem it necessary to carry on with his incessant ramblings.

"Ha ha, Urameshi! You just got yelled at!" Kuwabara grinned, comically pointing at Yusuke who stuck up his middle finger in response.

Koenma sighed. He reached up and massaged his temples. _Why and how do I deal with this? _Before the Prince could even bother to come up with an answer the door to Yusuke's apartment burst open. "Ah, Botan!" A mixture of relief and excitement drifted into his voice upon seeing his assistant walk in. Then another, much shorter, figure caught his eye. "Hello, Hiei."

The fire demon did not reply. Instead his crimson eyes were narrowed as he stiffly took in the members he fought alongside at the Dark Tournament.

"Why is Shrimpy here?" Kuwabara redirected his dark eyes from his arch nemesis to Koenma.

Koenma's lips separated, signaling he was about to speak. "Why are you still breathing?" Yet Hiei beat him to it as he tossed a fierce glare in the orange haired boy's direction.

"Why is everyone in my house? That's what I want to know!" Yusuke snapped. His plans to go home, eat, and sleep were obviously ruined. He always knew Koenma was out to get him… this was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

Inhaling sharply, Koenma tried to distance himself from the obnoxious team members whom he had the "joy" of representing. "Okay okay, everyone just be quiet so I can _explain _why I arranged this impromptu meeting." Much to his delight the whole room silenced (save for the loud snores emitting from Atsuko). "We managed to get out of the Dark Tournament by the skin of our teeth. That being said, I came up with an idea to have a team meeting every week or so."

Yusuke snorted. "Want me to bring a baseball mitt?"

"We could have matching uniforms!" Kuwabara chimed in. Both he and Yusuke grinned at each other while Koenma watched, feeling more helpless than he should have. He was the Prince of Spirit World! Not someone to be mocked and laughed at for a genuinely serious (and not to mention very good) idea.

"I'm being serious! You all are a team and maybe having a semblance of organization might help your strength as a whole." Koenma looked around at his Spirit Detectives and much to his dismay none of them looked too enthralled about his proposed idea. "Look, a little organization won't kill you." He added with hopes that perhaps that might sway them but knowing Yusuke and Hiei that was but wishful thinking.

A scoff escaped from Hiei as he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. A sudden smirk crept over his lips, taking the place of a formerly apathetic expression. "You aren't much for intelligence, are you?" He turned his head to look directly where Koenma was standing. "I already spend enough time around these fools. Standing around and talking about the weather isn't going to make us stronger, especially with that oaf over there. There's no hope for him." Everyone knew that Hiei was talking about Kuwabara who nearly lunged at the four foot something demon. Yusuke and Kurama simply grabbed onto the back of his blue jumpsuit to keep him from advancing forward.

"Come over here and say that to my face! I'll hang you by your ankles, Shorty!" Kuwabara thrashed and swung his fists every which way but both Yusuke and Kurama effortlessly retained their grip.

Hiei continued to keep his attentions focused on Koenma. "Frankly, you're an idiot which is no surprise. Look at the disgraceful land you rule."

This struck a nerve within Koenma, so much so that at first he didn't reply. He bit the inside of his cheek, remembering the breathing exercises Botan had taught him whenever he got into an unpleasant situation. _The world is a happy pla– that's it! Botan! _An idea suddenly came to him that gave him tremendous amounts of courage to stand up to Hiei and his cruel attitude. _I'll show him what happens when he messes with Koenma the Great! _He thought while making quite the effort to quell the happy expression that wanted to dominate his features.

"Tell me, Hiei, have you ever heard of the saying: If you play with fire you're going to get burn? Hmm?" Koenma asked, taking on a sickening pleasant tone dipped in honey and sugar.

"Why nope, can't say I have! I like killing people before they can say those things because I'm compensating for something if you know what I mean!"

"Is your name Hiei, Yusuke?" Koenma said in between clenched teeth. It seemed as if a serious conversation would be far off with Yusuke around. He then dared himself to look Hiei right in the eye. The black cloaked demon stared back, his gaze much more intense as if to intimidate Koenma, which he was doing a fairly good job at.

Hiei shrugged, "Once or twice. Your point?

It was then that Koenma allowed himself to smirk. "Everyone has a spiritual guide at their side. You however, cannot see them, but they are there for the purpose of helping you in your times of need in subtle ways, if you will. Even a small amount of demons have them but–"

"Demons can sense these spiritual guides way easier than humans, and most don't like the idea and ward off their spiritual guides." Kurama spoke up. "I'm speaking from experience. Everyone starts out with a spiritual guide, but by the time we are older it doesn't exactly help us to keep one around. Well, demons of all kinds, I mean. Humans can benefit from them but we honestly don't. In fact, some spiritual guides feed off of our spiritual energy which is, safe to say, bothersome."

The whole conversation didn't interest Hiei that much, but there was nothing else to do and it was hard to tune out Koenma's annoying voice. "You still haven't answered my question, Koenma. What is your point?" He was getting impatient.

"What happened to your spiritual guide, Hiei?" Koenma questioned.

"He probably killed the poor thing." Kuwabara muttered, shooting a typical glare directed at Hiei.

Like usual Hiei ignored Kuwabara's weak attempt at an insult, "Ha! Do you actually think I need a spiritual guide? I got rid of it once I could talk. Spiritual guides are for pathetic humans. Like the idiot over there." Kuwabara winced. A comeback was materializing and was about to be spoken but Koenma briskly cut him off.

"Really?" Koenma asked smugly. "Well, I think that you do need one. I'm the Spirit World Prince not some dog. You _will_ treat me with respect or else you will face the consequences. Now, Hiei, starting tomorrow for one week you will…" Koenma paused simply for the effect he was sure it would create but the anticipation got to him and so he quickly continued. "You will be assigned a spiritual guide that will go with you everywhere. What spiritual guide you may be wondering? I'm sure you know her quite well! It will be Botan! I was thinking of giving her a vacation anyways." Koenma wasn't sure if whether or not assigning Botan to be Hiei's spiritual guide could be considered a vacation but he was her boss so she had to go along with it.

Ever since she had arrived at Yusuke's apartment with Hiei in tow Botan had been uncharacteristically quiet. She watched as Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Hiei shot down Koenma's plan to have a weekly meeting. It didn't matter much to her, honestly, but she did feel bad that Koenma was being triple-teamed so ruthlessly. That was until she heard him assign her to be Hiei's _spiritual guide. _Botan's lavender eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"_What?_" She shrieked. "What do you mean be his spiritual guide?"

Koenma couldn't quite bring himself to answer to Botan. Not then.

"I refuse." Hiei stated firmly.

"If you refuse then your probation will be extended for a much longer time. I will personally see to it that you never leave this city." Koenma offered Hiei a cold smile, seeing the expression on his face was worth taking all those jabs from both him _and _Yusuke earlier. "You should stay at Kurama's place for the week. Your human mother won't mind will she?"

Kurama shook his head, "She just left for a two week business trip."

Yusuke knew he would definitely have fun with this. He walked over to Hiei with a grin. "Have a grand 'ol time, my little buddy." He said with great amusement as he gave Hiei a few pats on the back.

"Yusuke, you'd do yourself some good by being quiet. Yours is coming." Surprisingly Yusuke closed his mouth at Koenma's statement. For once he actually took his boss seriously. There wasn't much worse than spending time with Botan for one week but maybe he was a bit biased since it was her who usually informed him about upcoming missions.

Kuwabara somehow stopped himself from getting in a few shots at Hiei. He didn't want Koenma to stick him with Hiei for seven days. Repeating the Dark Tournament a thousand times over sounded more appealing than what Botan had to go through. _Poor Botan. _Kuwabara's face was overwhelmed with pity as he glanced over to Koenma's assistant-turned-victim. Of course, she was too busy being shocked to even notice that anyone was staring at her.

Koenma, on the other hand, was filled to the brim with accomplishment. He felt high and mighty– as he should have since he was royalty! "Oh, and this goes for everyone… we'll have a team meeting once every week. Hmm, today is Monday so let's make it, shall we say… every Wednesday?" Koenma didn't bother to wait for anyone's approval before he grinned. "Great! See you all Wednesday!" Before protests could be made Koenma walked out of the door with Botan trailing behind him, leaving his four team members to themselves.

"That was odd…" Kurama admitted after a brief interlude of silence.

Kuwabara barely nodded in agreement, scratching the back of his head. "You're telling me."

* * *

"Are you crazy, Koenma? How could you do this to me?" The blue haired, pink kimono adorned Botan shuffled behind Koenma. The Prince had reverted back to his toddler form once they were safely within the Spirit World Palace. "A vacation? This is _your _idea of a _vacation_!" With each word she spoke Botan could feel herself growing more and more hysterical.

"Botan, please." Koenma pleaded quietly as he walked into his office. Seeing the new piles of paperwork, along with Botan's yelling, diminished his former good mood.

Botan released an aggravated yell. "I don't think you understand, Koenma _sir,_" she began, the word 'sir' negatively emphasized. "Hiei hates me! He's never liked me… he's always rude to me! What in Heaven's name gave you this idea?" She could've carried on but stopped to take in a few necessary breaths.

"Hiei needs to learn a lesson that he can't always get away with his snide comments. I control his probation, he has to understand that." Koenma replied after he climbed into his large, comfortable red office chair.

The answer didn't satisfy Botan in the least. She slammed her hands on his large desk and leaned in close so her face rested a few feet away from his. "So you use me to teach him a lesson? I'm the Pilot of the River Styx! I graduated from being a spiritual guide ages ago! Can't you just give this job to Ayame?" She was hoping that this chore could be given to someone other than her. Hiei wasn't someone she wanted to pal around with for an hour much less an entire week.

"Ayame is just as qualified as you."

Those words drew a huff out of Botan. "Of course. She's your favorite. How could I forget?"

_I can't win, can I? _Koenma cleared his throat. "Botan, it's just one week." He regretted speaking after he realized that just a seven day period with Hiei wasn't much of a condolence.

"Easy for you to say." Botan retorted icily.

Feeling a headache coming on, Koenma wished for all of the disagreements to come to an end. "Either way, I'm your boss so you can at least try to survive a week." He could tell that another wave of yells were about to crash into him so Koenma quickly continued. "It's been awhile since you've held that position so let me remind you of a few things. A spiritual guide may not stray far from their charge's side _unless _they are asleep which gives you a few hours depending on their sleep patterns. You needn't worry, though, because I doubt Hiei sleeps." Koenma meant for that to be a humorous statement but he only received a look from Botan that was tossing daggers at him. "Um, as I was saying," he began after a hesitant pause. "If your charge is awakened and you're not there you'll automatically be pulled back to their side."

Botan hardly nodded. She already knew all of this, after all it was a job that she had worked once upon a time.

Clearing his throat, Koenma could feel the burn of her stare boring into his small body. "If you don't have any questions then you're excused."

She puffed out her cheeks. _I won't forgive you for this! _Botan turned on her heel and headed towards the door. "Oh, and Koenma sir?" She said sweetly, looking back at the toddler prince.

"Yes Botan?"

"I think weekly meetings are a very _very _stupid idea!" She admitted with a cheeky smile, walking out before Koenma and his wounded pride could react. After she exited his office, Botan found herself completely alone in the barren corridor. _I suppose I'll have to make the most out of this next week. Hiei may be the biggest case I've ever been assigned to but I've had my fair share of challenges as a spiritual guide. _Even so, Botan would still savor the handful of hours she had to herself before she returned to a duty she believed she had left years and years ago.

* * *

The night sky was draped over the city and barely visible stars accented the darkness. In the park, away from the city lights, one could see the sparkling dots perfectly. Showing admiration towards the clear evening was not the reason why Hiei and Kurama had ventured there after the tumultuous meeting that had taken place at Yusuke's.

"I should've slit his throat." Hiei said, referring to Koenma, as he sat on a branch with his back resting against the rough bark.

From the ground Kurama concentrated on Hiei as he leaned against the tree. "Is it so bad?" He asked with genuine curiosity.

"Do I even need to answer such a stupid question?"

Kurama chuckled. "I suppose not."

"Good." Hiei rested his hands behind his head, glancing upward.

"Koenma is only being temperamental. He's doing what he thinks is right for you and he believes what's right is teaching you a lesson." Kurama added after a bout of stillness.

"I'm not a child. He need not father me." Hiei grumbled. His fingers subconsciously brushed against the sheath of his katana. The sheer temptation to release the blade and strike something –anything– was overwhelming.

"You can look at it from a different perspective, you know. It's only for a week and while it's not what you're used to my house isn't a torture chamber." His emerald irises flicked upward to catch a glimpse of his teammate before closing. "It could be for a much longer period and at least it's Botan rather than an unknown." Kurama had a feeling that if it were a complete stranger then Hiei would only become more aggravated. They were familiar with Botan and that brought more comfort than Kurama believed Hiei couldn't comprehend.

_But she's an annoyance. _Hiei knew where his dislike materialized from. Botan was everything he could never be. Her demeanor was always so cheery, her bright hair and eyes contrasted with his, and her pink kimono… it was all so entirely different. In the blink of an eye Hiei stood up and jumped from the tree, easily landing on his feet. "I make it a point not to speak with her. She's a happy fool." He said bluntly as he began to walk away from Kurama to a destination that even he had not yet thought of.

"You two are the poster children for the word contradiction," he half expected Hiei to turn around and toss him an ill look. When he didn't react Kurama simply smiled. _Perhaps that might not be such a bad thing. _


	2. Day 1: The Grocery Store Endeavors

**Author's Note: **_Hello everyone, Vienna here! First off let me apologize for taking a few weeks to get this update up! I've been busy finally graduating (WOO~), and spending time with family and friends because of that monumental event but I've slowly been working on this chapter and am glad to finally be able to post it. My birthday is coming up soon (June 22nd) so reviews would make a wonderful gift! Ah ha, I'm shameless... anyway, happy reading!_

**Special Thanks To: **_Armpit (I'm loving the username!) and ReaperDemon for your great reviews! Thanks again so much!  
_

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**Involuntary Contradiction**

**Day 1:**

"**The Grocery Store Endeavors"**

**

* * *

**"_Botan, it's just one week."_

_Just one week he says… well, I suppose it's not too much of a big deal for him since he's not the one having to go through with this ordeal. _Botan's mind raced and admittedly her thoughts were wholly pessimistic as she stood in her room, preparing for what was to come. Koenma had to of been her least favorite person but he was her boss and an assignment was still an assignment. Botan was coping in her own way, however, and she was very pleased with her exuded cleverness. She had asked some of her coworkers to help her find the most obnoxious looking kimono that they had in the Palace and it didn't take them long to discover a neon yellow kimono. It was so headache-inducing bright and Botan loved it because she knew Hiei would hate it.

Yet a neon colored kimono wouldn't be enough. No, Botan was aware of that much. She decided that she was going to milk this out as much as she possibly could. Her usual blue ponytail was separated into pigtails and bright pink bows were tied in random places in her hair. The sight of her ridiculous attire made her feel a whole lot better about what was bound to be an arduous week.

_I'm sure Hiei thinks he'll get the best of me but– _before that thought was complete a memory from the Dark Tournament reemerged.

"_Go ahead, tell them that Yukina is my sister… I'll take great pleasure in killing you." _

Chills coursed throughout Botan's spine as the flashback occurred to her. _Why do I always remember these things at the worst moments? _She laughed despite herself in attempt to quell her nerves. She wasn't overly nervous... her neon kimono did wonders in making her feel more reassured. Clapping her hands together, she walked out of her room. The dark hallway offered a small –albeit dim– source of light thanks to candles on the walls. Botan hardly noticed such a scene anymore since she had become so used to the dreariness that was the Spirit World Palace.

"Botan!"

The sound her name caused Botan to turn around. Her expression became rather sour when she saw who was calling after her. "Koenma sir." She replied bitterly.

That day Koenma was in his teenager form. Botan had to wonder if it was because he knew there was a possibility that she might throw him out a window if he appeared as a toddler. "It's almost ti– what in my Father's name are you wearing?" He blinked a few time since the bright colors were rough on his eyes.

Botan crossed her arms. "What? Can't I be creative with my wardrobe? If you must know it's to bring out the color of my eyes."

"And by bringing out the color of your eyes you mean to piss Hiei off, right?" Koenma chuckled, he was greatly amused at his assistant's tactic.

A slight smile brightened Botan's face. "I'm not just going to let him push me around, is all. He hardly scares me!" She added the last part quickly. "He's just like Yusuke. He hides behind a tough guy exterior but underneath it's all jelly!" Botan wasn't going to let her boss know that she was saying that partly to convince herself that Hiei was just as complex as Yusuke. Somehow she doubted that was the truth.

"Jelly?" Koenma began, glancing up towards the ceiling. "Well, if you're sure…"

Botan carefully studied his face. "Koenma sir, is this really necessary?" She blurted at what she deemed to be an opportune moment.

The Spirit World Prince nodded slowly. "I believe so– just think of it as a slap on the hand." Koenma noticed Botan's shoulders slump. "You'll be staying with Kurama for the week so it won't be all bad!" Koenma hoped that he was offering a bit of reassurance but somehow he doubted it. He figured that she was still angry from earlier and the less proud side of him knew that.

"I'm not even a spiritual guide anymore! I don't see why you chose me for this when I'm yours and Yusuke's assistant. Not to mention I've barely ever talked to Hiei!" Botan was about to add how much Hiei probably detested her and how she was the worst person for such an assignment (even if she already indirectly said such) but knew there was no point. Koenma was too stubborn to sway once he came up with what he thought was a good idea.

"…What I'm trying to say is, why me? Couldn't you have found someone else?" Botan wasn't typically one to adopt the "why me" mentality but this truly irked her, and she was curious.

Koenma ran his fingers through his brown hair, concentrating his eyes elsewhere before he prompted himself to look right into Botan's lavender irises. "I could have, yes," he started truthfully. "But Botan, you have a way with people. I honestly don't believe anyone could've handled this job quite like you will." His gaze softened as he took a small step toward her.

Botan stayed silent as she mulled over Koenma's words. _Is he just saying that? _She wondered. _No, Koenma sir isn't the type to bend the truth… not when it comes to compliments, anyway. _

"Alright, sir! You can count on me!" The stillness ended as Botan perked up, grinning cheekily at Koenma. His words had given her a much needed boost of motivation as she turned on her heel and quickly disappeared from the Prince's view. In her eagerness she had forgotten to say goodbye but such technicalities hardly entered Botan's train of thought. She'd see him at that pointless team meeting in a couple days, anyway.

Koenma stood there a few seconds after Botan had made her exit. A part of him was a tad surprised at her sudden change of mood but he very much preferred it over her being angry with him. _I know you'll do a good job, Botan. You always do. _

_

* * *

_"How can you live in this atrocity?" Hiei looked around Kurama's living room that was chockfull of touchy-feely family photos, and other items that one would only find in a home that belonged to a human.

"You get used to it." Kurama replied as he lifted up a framed picture of him and his mother to dust the wooden surface underneath.

Hiei scoffed. "I doubt it."

"It would seem as if you have an entire week to find that out for yourself." Kurama continued to straighten up the room for Botan's arrival by cleaning the wooden floor and taking care of any menial faults left behind. He and his mother were very organized so the house was always in flawless condition but surfaces still became dusty and with his mother gone Kurama saw to it that everything was acceptable for guests. Even if the guest was someone as familiar as Botan.

"Don't remind me." Hiei curtly said as he opted to lean against the wall.

"Hiei, you can sit down, you know…" Kurama cracked a smile as he indicated to the leather couch.

"I'd rather not."

Kurama hardly shrugged his shoulders. He moved onto dusting the top of the coffee table. "Is there something wrong, Hiei?" Even though his back was turned to Hiei Kurama could still feel the intensity of the fire demon's stare. _Perhaps it's best to leave him to himself for awhile. _

"These past fifteen years really have made you pathetic. Look at you, _tidying up._" Hiei sneered. Despite the insult Kurama didn't bother to snap back, such reactions weren't in his nature. Rather he continued to finish his "tidying up" as Hiei so kindly put it.

The sound of a third set of footsteps shuffling into room instantly garnered Hiei and Kurama's attention. "Hello, Botan." Kurama greeted the blue haired grim reaper who was grinning from ear to ear. _She could have knocked but I suppose that's not what she's used to. _

"Why in the hell are you wearing that eyesore?"

Botan twitched but continued to wear her bright smile. She didn't even get in a proper greeting before Hiei insulted her! It was to be expected so she did her best to brush it off as if it were nothing. "If you must know, Hiei, this outfit is for special occasions! Like this one! So, I decided to take it out of my closet and wear it! It's great, isn't it? Why thank you!"

_By special I mean horrible– yes, look away! You don't scare me! Ha ha! _Botan thought triumphantly as she crossed her arms and tried not to smirk.

"You look so ridiculous that I can't even fathom the thought of looking at you." Hiei replied, completely deadpanned.

"Oh and do you think looking at you is a walk in the park either?" Botan retorted.

Kurama deemed it best to step in so he interjected by first clearing his throat. "Let me show you to the room you'll be staying in." He motioned for the bickering pair to follow him. Botan shot Hiei a glare that was returned by the demon tenfold before she began to walk behind Kurama.

"Here we are." The redhead opened the door to reveal a medium sized room with a single bed, nightstand, dresser, and other basic amenities that a bedroom possessed. The walls were painted in a neutral beige which Hiei found to be a bit of a relief after being exposed to Botan's neon kimono and gaudy hairstyle that could've easily induced blindness.

"There's one bed…" Botan pointed out.

"That's right. Since you're Hiei's spiritual guide for the week I thought you two should share a bed."

Both Hiei and Botan stared at Kurama. Botan's jaw dropped while Hiei's lips pursed together– even their same emotive appeared different through their expressions.

"What?" Botan cried out. _Could this get any worse?_

"I refuse." Hiei told him flatly.

Kurama turned away from the two of them, his shoulders shaking a little. He was trying to hold back laughter. "Consider this my revenge for earlier, Hiei. I'll bring in a futon."

Once Kurama walked out the extremely relieved Botan turned to Hiei. _I wonder what happened earlier… _She hadn't been there when Hiei insulted Kurama's human life but either way she was thankful that he'd only been kidding. Botan didn't know if whether or not she could ever forgive Kurama if he had subjected her to such torture (granted, she would've done everything in her power to prevent it).

Botan sighed softly. This week would drag on for eternity if she and Hiei continued trekking down their current path. "You can have the bed, if you'd like, Hiei." That was her truce, offering him what was bound to be more comfort than a futon.

"No thanks. I don't need weak human attempts at comfort to regain my energy."

Smiling bitterly, Botan stiffly nodded. "Oh. My mistake!"

Meanwhile, downstairs, Kurama had gone into the kitchen to decide what to make for dinner before grabbing the futon. Opening the fridge and glancing into a few of the coverts a sweat drop formed on the back of his head. "That's not good…"

The first of what Botan predicted to be many awkward moments passed by until Hiei unexpectedly said something. "Aren't you supposed to be invisible?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm not supposed to see my spiritual guide." The annoyed Hiei clarified.

"You can see me because of this special circumstance and as a demon you naturally have high spiritual awareness, so–" Botan trailed off. _I shouldn't tell him that by "special circumstance" I mean that Koenma only wanted to torture him. Oh, and me too. Sigh. _The words the Prince had given to her earlier about her having a way with people proved to no longer be much of a comfort or motivation.

This time Hiei said nothing in response. His expression of pure loathe conveyed volumes more than any of his own words could have.

Luckily they weren't left in the room alone much longer. Kurama walked back in sans the futon he left for. "It looks like we'll have to go grocery shopping. I barely have enough food for me let alone three people." Kurama admitted sheepishly. He usually wasn't one to make such a mistake but being that he was by himself whenever his mom went away on business trips it was hard for him to imagine buying food for more than one person.

"Knock yourself out."

"You misunderstand, Hiei," Kurama began. "You both are coming with me."

"Tch. I kill my food I don't buy it." Hiei informed him coolly. There was no way that he was going to participate in human pastimes such as… _shopping for food. _Disgusting.

Kurama, as usual, remained eerily calm. Hiei's snarky replies never bothered him. "This is my mother's house and that being said I cannot leave you two here alone. It wouldn't be respectful towards her since she's never met either of you." He explained with his trademark logic that satisfied Botan but furthered Hiei's displeasure.

"I could care less. I'm still not going."

A few minutes later the three of them were on their way to the local market. Hiei strayed a little behind Kurama and Botan who were having a conversation about something uninteresting to the fire demon.

"Hiei," Botan turned around and faced him. "I have to walk by your side! It's what a spiritual guide does."

"Then you can come over here." Hiei replied, offhandedly telling her that he refused to make the effort to go along with the stupid terms a spiritual guide had to follow through with.

_Grrr. _Botan clenched her teeth together and took a few steps to close the distance between her and Hiei. She stood next to him and knew instantly how silly they must have looked standing side by side. After all, Botan was a few heads taller than Hiei and it didn't help he was wearing a dark cloak while her kimono could have successfully directed a few aircrafts on a stormy evening.

After what seemed to be the millionth dodged glance by both Hiei and Botan (the latter just grinning and trying to look happy) they finally made it to the entrance of the store.

"Do you hear that? I think my phone's ringing…" Kurama began, reaching into his pocket.

Botan looked around. "I don't hear anything."

Once locating his phone, Kurama flipped it open and placed it to his ear. "Hello? …Oh, of course. Yes, I'll be right over… it's no problem at all! Alright, goodbye." Ending the call, Kurama looked to Hiei and Botan. "I need to help my next door neighbor lift some bookshelves, his brother couldn't make it. Though I'm sure you two can handle the shopping on your own. Hiei, here's the list and I shouldn't be too long." After handing Hiei the list and his wallet Kurama darted off in the direction towards his home.

"Kurama, wait–" Hiei yelled angrily after him but it was no use. He was already out of sight. "I can't believe this." He grumbled, tightening his grip around the piece of paper.

"Hey now! Don't rip it!" Botan grabbed the list out of Hiei's grasp and stared down at it.

"Let's see… udon noodles, chicken broth, tempura, rice, carrots, celery, cucumbers, tomatoes… Kurama sure likes his vegetables!" Botan concluded randomly as she stroked her chin, her eyes continuing to drift down the rather long list.

Hiei stopped listening to Botan about two seconds after she started talking. He turned his attention to Kurama's wallet. Inside there was his school ID along with a few other cards, a picture of him and his mom, and… a handsome amount of money. Hiei wasn't well versed in human currency but he knew there were enough bills there to be considered valuable.

"How about I give you this money and we'll call it even? You leave me alone and we can say it's been one week." Hiei offered with the belief that Botan was stupid enough to take it.

Her flat expression said otherwise. "Are you bribing me? Shame on you, Hiei! That's Kurama's wallet and anyway, I don't need money. Come on now, we have to go and get everything on the list." Thinking she was with Yusuke, Botan reached out and latched her fingers around Hiei's wrist.

The fire demon easily ripped his arm away. "Don't touch me, fool." He snapped with narrowed eyes.

Botan laughed a little, embarrassed at making such a mistake. Yusuke usually just let her drag him along… she should've known better than to try that with Hiei. "Anyway. We should get inside," she pointed to the entrance and wordlessly Hiei walked ahead of her. Taking a couple steps, Botan easily caught up with him and they both walked into the grocery store.

An extremely crowded grocery store, at that.

Children were running about, chasing their siblings while their parents yelled for them to settle down. Babies were crying and employees were making announcements over a loudspeaker about current sales. In other words… this was the equivalent to hell in Hiei's eyes.

"There sure are a lot of people," Botan observed. The silence between her and Hiei seemed to be louder than any sound that could've been produced in that large space.

"Idiot."

Puffing out her cheeks, Botan shoved the list back at him. "If I'm such an idiot why don't you do the shopping?" She barked, crossing her arms.

Hiei smirked. "I could've been done already." He said before starting to walk off.

"Hiei, you're walking towards the checkout lanes." Botan was about to add some witty remark but stopped herself. He already looked stupid enough acting as if he could do no wrong compared to her… the so-called idiot.

Grumbling under his breath Hiei turned around and walked in the right direction.

Nearly ten minutes passed.

"If you don't know where anything is why don't you ask for help?"

"I told you I don't need it."

Botan sighed. Hiei kept looking at the list but so far they had found none of the items.

"Hiei–"

"Mention me needing help again and I'll carve out your voice box." Clearly he was frustrated as his eyes took in Kurama's neat handwriting for what seemed to be the billionth time.

_That's a bit harsh. _Botan tossed him a glare but said nothing.

"What an odd looking couple!"

"Aww, how cute! They look so different but I'm sure they love each other so much!"

"Her outfit's kinda hurting my eyes, though."

Hearing that Botan could only figure that when they said "odd looking couple" they meant her and Hiei. Which was understandable… they didn't exactly blend in as normal citizens. The sources of the voices belonged to a married couple who looked, well, normal.

"Oh, you misunderstand!" Botan cut in, grinning at the surprised man and woman. "I'm not his girlfriend! No way. I have standards, thank you very much. Anyway, no, I'm his _babysitter_!"

"Ummm… okay?" They both slowly nodded as Botan skipped back towards Hiei who, had he not been on probation, would've slit her throat with his katana.

"You must have a death wish."

"Nope, not at all! …I do wish you'd hurry up, though! What happened to being done already?" Botan shrilly laughed as she pointed at the list, now quite crumpled, in Hiei's hand. When she noticed a vein appear near his temple Botan rolled her eyes for the… oh hell, she probably rolled her eyes more times that day than anyone could've bothered counting. "Just. Ask. For. Help. It's not difficult, you know. See, look at that guy over there! He works here so he'll help us."

The guy Botan was pointing to was a greasy haired young man in his late teens with numerous zits on his face wearing a shirt that said the company name on it along with a nametag.

Hiei sneered. "The oil on his face could put an end to any fuel crisis."

"How would you know about human issues like that?" Botan was so curious that she forgot to scold him for the rude insult. It wasn't that boy's fault that he was a teenager and that was just something all teenagers had to go through! Some more than others, but, even so the teen did look as if he could've used a nice shower.

"You forgot that part of your boss' asinine probation is to keep me stranded here on earth. Kurama informs me of all the failures of this race."

"Ever the optimist, are we? Anyway, I don't think we're going to find vegetables in the hair care section." Once again Botan took the list from Hiei's fingers. He said nothing in protest. _Which reminds me! I should grab some shampoo later. _Botan noted, walking out of the aisle and towards the produce section where they should've been in the first place.

Once they made it there Hiei crossed his arms across his chest. "No wonder it took us awhile, these fools make it near impossible to find."

Botan cleared her throat. "Hiei, it's right by the entrance. We were only a few feet away when we walked in."

For once Hiei didn't have a sharp comeback. He stayed quiet. _Who's the fool now, short stuff? Ha! Botan: one point… Hiei: none! Okay, maybe that's a little mean Bota– no! He deserves it! _Tossing a mild smirk in Hiei's direction Botan grabbed a basket and began to find all the items on Kurama's list. Most of what he wanted was in the large fruits and vegetables section while the other stuff wasn't hard to locate. Hiei stayed silently by her side as she put the items into a newly found cart. The only time he came close to speaking was whenever someone pointed out what an "odd couple" he and Botan made. Instead, he just threw them a menacing glare that did all the speaking for him. Except when they pointed out her ugly kimono… that he silently just agreed with.

Botan pretended not to notice, believing it was better that way.

"Looks like we have everything! Phew!" Botan gave the list one last once-over before folding it up. She was about to go to one of the many checkout lanes but a certain candy/junk food aisle caught her eye. "Bingo!" She exclaimed, turning the cart around much to Hiei's dismay and pushing it into almost everyone's favorite place in a store.

"Pray tell, what are you doing?" Hiei watched as Botan took random, colorful items off the shelf and threw them into the cart.

"Do you like Pocky, Hiei?" Botan looked over at him after placing a few boxes of the Japanese treat in her cart.

"Do I like _what_?"

"Great, more for me!" She cheerily turned away from the twitching fire demon who was staring at her, yearning for his katana which had unfortunately been left behind at Kurama's.

It was then that Hiei decided to tune everything out but such an action was short lived when he felt something hit his legs. It was a little boy. "Ow– sorry, mister!" The boy looked up at Hiei with wide eyes and his mouth hung open revealing that he was missing his two front teeth. Hiei responded with his typical intimidating stare… one that struck fear into everyone, especially human children.

"Ahhh, MONSTER!" The little boy clumsily turned around and sped off in the other direction which was perfectly fine with Hiei.

"Stop scaring children!" Botan barked as she added other assorted sweets with the food. _Oh, I hope we can pay for this all… then again, Kurama did want a lot of vegetables. Too much. So, we can just take some of those away! _Satisfied, Botan went to pay with Hiei following close behind.

She had nearly spent all of the money in Kurama's wallet but Botan was honestly glad that she had been able to pay for everything, more importantly… her sweets.

"Alright, Hiei, I'll take these two bags and you can carry the rest!" Taking the two lightest bags, Botan left Hiei there to handle five other bags. Usually she would've made more of an effort but she was finding these small moments a perfect way to let Hiei know that she wasn't going to be pushed around. No, not her!

Hiei didn't have too much of a problem carrying the heaviest bags. He was a demon, after all, and a powerful one at that. If he had crumpled at the metaphorical hands of a shopping bag then, well, he probably didn't deserve to live any longer. Least that's what he would've thought.

"Kurama!"

The redhead former fox thief looked to Botan when she had called his name.

"Did shopping go well?" A small smile played on his lips as if he knew something that they didn't.

"No." Hiei answered quickly.

Botan sharply cut in. "Yes, of course!" She said cheerily. "Hiei and I are the best of friends, right Hiei?"

Amused, Kurama looked at Hiei expectantly for his response.

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"On second thought…" Botan trailed off.

Kurama didn't stop himself from laughing a little before turning to Hiei. "My wallet, please."

Hiei cocked his head slightly sideways in Botan's direction.

"Here you go!" Botan handed him back the wallet.

Nodding in thanks, Kurama opened it up to inspect his change but once he found a few coins a sweat drop appeared. _I suppose this is karma for me lowering my energy level and keeping an eye on them…. _Looking at the two, he couldn't help but smile despite being almost broke. _They did pretty well, thankfully. At least Hiei was more tolerant of her than I thought he'd be. It looks like I have a positive report to give Koenma. _

With those thoughts in Kurama's mind, the three of them walked home.

* * *

The groceries were unloaded and all the ingredients were laid out to cook that night's meal: udon noodle soup with shrimp tempura. The three of them resided in the kitchen while Kurama got everything together with Botan's help while Hiei just sat there, watching them with boredom.

Ironically, he was the first to speak up. "Kurama, you're not going to make us cook that crap since we were the ones who found it are you?" Hiei asked with a smirk.

_Since __**I**__ was the one who found it! You did nothing but glower and glare the whole time, you little twerp! _Botan tightened her grip on the carrot in her hand. Admittedly she wished she could just throw it at Hiei and somehow poke him in the eye.

Kurama gently shook his head, chuckling. "No, Hiei, you see… I don't want mother to come home to a blown up kitchen."


End file.
